And then, there was the fire drill – I walked around covering my ears to try and block out the sound.
Yes, I’m writing at work (not something I usually do), but I needed the breather and writing is very calming for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful to be gainfully employed with health insurance, but I don’t want to wake up every weekday morning and wish it were Friday at 4:30.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly where I’m at.
I’m not going to bail on my job quite yet; I have a new used car I need to pay for and there’s other living expenses, like rent and food. And leaving to make a jump into something similar won’t solve anything. I expect that whatever move I make next will be done through networking and being an introvert, networking is something I’ve always struggled with. At the end of the day, I want to make like a turtle and retreat into my shell, not stay exposed, like a nerve.
I want to love what I do and I will; I’m just not there. Yet.
At the start of 2016, I made a list of goals I want to achieve. I also recite those goals aloud every day. There’s nothing voodoo-y or hocus-pocus-y involved with it, but saying something out loud has a different impact than just thinking or wishing it. Saying them out loud makes them feel real.
I’m not sharing details yet (that’ll be in the end of the year recap), but last month I scratched one off my list and I’m in the process of making another happen, although it won’t be fully formed for another month or so. And tonight, I will scratch off another.
When mornings like this threaten to suck the wind out of me, I have to remember that life is changing, and each change, no matter how big or small, gives me the boost to move forward.
So even though this morning may have started out rough, I know it will end on a very high note.
But I still wish it were Friday at 4:30.