Since getting the job offer and giving notice, my disposition has improved exponentially. I want to be better, I want to do better – in everything.
First, there’s a little matter of my health and physical condition. In the year and a half I’ve been at my current job, my exercise time has decreased. The introvert in me needed quiet and alone time. Dummy me, I should’ve included exercise to help me handle the nuclear level stress, but it was easier to go home and hide than risk more human interaction. My diet was atrocious and this wicked cocktail added up to an extra 20 pounds. Before you gasp in horror, everyone in the department has put on weight since working there, mostly from stress eating.
I’ve been starting off slow with some cardio and am working up to lifting more weights. I can’t do my old weight levels quite yet, but I’m clearly doing too much too soon. For example, I tried to do pull ups a week and a half ago and I torqued my shoulder somethin’ good. I had hurt my shoulder several years before and went to physical therapy, so I’m using the exercises the PT gave me to get my shoulder strong again. Better to move a little slower than completely stop.
Second, I’ve been looking at martial arts classes; those probably won’t be until next month, after I’ve had a few weeks to acclimate to regular physical exercise. I have a feeling I’m going to love it, but I will take advantage of the free class before committing.
I’ve been so fortunate to have good health and a strong body, I can’t waste it.
Thirdly, I want to learn to make foam armor. Now that Wizard World decided to bring its con back to our fair city, I need to step up my cosplay game. I’ve watched a few videos and I think I can learn to work with it; it’ll just take a little practice. My future goal is to create a Vampire Hunter D cosplay. It would be a smidge ambitious to try to get it done before next year, but you never know.
Yes, professional development and joining professional organizations are on the list as well.
Since I gave my notice two weeks ago, it’s been psychotically busy here. Today it’s as though the brakes were slammed and it’s just slooooooooooow. I’m not complaining, trust me. The person I need to train on payroll has been in meetings all morning so I’ve been trying to pretend to look busy. Okay, not really, whatever I needed to get done is done.
For the first 10 months of this year life was stagnant. Now it’s November and life’s in hyperdrive. I’ve got my helmet, I’m strapped in and I’m ready to enjoy the ride.
I thought I could wait one year, but I was too close to cracking to make it another month, I finally requested a day off, but had to take it without pay.
Let me tell you about my day off; it was positively hedonistic. I woke up at my regular work day time. Got my makeup slathered on, had coffee and breakfast, then got out of my pajamas and into real clothes about 8:30. I know, I live dangerously. After 9:00, I got some cash for Comic Con the next day. No, I wasn’t walking into a store in full cosplay garb. After that, I stopped off at two different stores to buy groceries, then stopped to get a roll of quarters.
I got home about 11:30 and started the first of two loads of laundry. I did a little bit of cleaning, finished up a cosplay and watched two movies. I even got in a short nap.
I haven’t had a bona fide day off since April 2015 and I gotta say, not being pulled in 15 directions or having to try to answer a question I know nothing about, or fielding complaints, was absolutely blissful.
I will really miss that one day’s pay, but a day of relaxation was absolutely priceless.
Part of it is Prince’s death. I never knew the man, just his music, yet his death affected me harder than I would’ve thought. I was crying off and on from the time I heard about it until a few days after. It’s still hard to believe his musical genius isn’t on this earth anymore.
Part of it is changing careers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited at the prospect, but I’m at the start of making this change and it’s not going as fast as I want. Everything happens in due time, but patience isn’t one of my virtues.
I’m not getting any younger, if I would’ve had more faith in myself when I was younger, I’d be loving what I do, not dreading going to a job. But I’m not too old to change up what I do for a living.
Part of it is my weight. I’ve been at my job since last June and I’ve put on 15 pounds. Holy shitballs. I never step on a scale needlessly, but I had to when I had my concussion. I’d say the weight gain is a not-so-healthy brew of stress, hormones and eating (I admit, it could use some tweaks).
Another part – and you might think this is strange – is that the cosplay costumes I started a few months are almost done, Okay, correction, one is done, the other is almost done, it’s on its finishing touches.
You’re probably wondering why the last one would be leave me in a funk. For me, the creative process is exhilarating, it’s the fun part. The end product? Meh. It’s done, there’s nothing left to do.
For the last three months, my living room has been chaos. I moved two dining room chairs from my living room to put my sewing machine on one and accessories on the other. Half of the sofa had pattern pieces on it, another chair had pattern pieces on it and one corner of the living had a pile of fabric and sunglasses and wigs and a bunch of other crap bunched up in it.
Now, the floor is clear. The patterns are put away. The accessories are in boxes. The chairs are back in the dining room.
In other words, it doesn’t look like a tornado just blew through my apartment. But I do kinda miss the chaos just a little, because it means this is coming to an end. It actually feels a little sad.
I know I need to bring myself out of this, so last week during lunch at work, I made a list of what I can do next and a few things popped up.
One, finish the book cover. I had this on my list of to-dos, but once I realized how behind I was on the cosplay costumes, I went into panic mode and just focused on the costumes.
Two, explore another cosplay for Crypticon, a horror convention. Last year I went as Svengoolie and I might just again, but if I get bored at some point between now and October, I’ll put together another character.
Three, write a book. Why not? I have an idea in my head that’s been floating in my head for quite a while. It’s time to put in on paper and see what happens and how, or if, it gels. Might not work as a book, the story might fall apart, but if I don’t write it down, I won’t know. Even if it’s not published, I want to say I’ve done it.
Four, fitness. It’s not only good for the body, it’s good for the mind. A good ass-kicking workout is not only calming, it puts things in perspective.
The funk will pass, I know it will, I just want it be gone NOW. Like I said earlier, patience isn’t one of my virtues.